18 weeks pregnant still withdrawing from marijuana?

i found out i was pregnant at 6 and a half weeks. I had been smoking on an every day basis for 6 years straight. i stopped once i found out i was pregnant. I am severely depressed and anxious now. I know half of it is the pregnancy hormones. but also the results of not having weed in my system after smoking it for such a long period of time. i dont have any money to go see a doc. and refuse to be put on meds for any of this. I feel like i am dying inside mentally. not to mention my bf and i are having major problems and decided to call off our engagement. i feel as though i cant deal with life right now. i just lay in my bed all day. cant do anything and cant sleep at night either. and i want to be there for my baby and breastfeed too. i keep thinking.. great.. postpartum is next. what the hell am i going to do? does anyone have any suggestions or holistic remedies? i'm not having a problem not smoking. it is just the effects of it all. i also want to know if i harmed my baby in the beginning weeks. i go for my full checkup where they check the baby's organs in 2 weeks.