I think my anxiety is killing me?

I have had anxiety for my entire life. This anxiety has started as panic attacks at night due to my tormenting cousins - I thought I'd grow out of it. I am 25 years old and still terrified of the dark. When 9/11 happened I was in HS and lived 12 miles out of Manhattan. Planes terrify me and since then whenever I hear a plane over my house I panic to the point of getting in my car and driving away. I have no idea where I'd go. I don't want to get blown up. Since I have become an adult my anxiety has worsen. I harp over things I have said to people like you wouldn't believe. The other person probably doesn't even remember what I said and I can't get it out of my head. Also, I am so insecure about myself I constantly think my boyfriend is cheating or if he doesn't reply to my texts/calls right away something horrible has happened to him. Now I have started a new job as a teacher and I am already anxious at school. That either a student is going to murder me or that I am just going to be fired for saying something wrong. I've never actually contemplated suicide but I'd be lying if those thoughts haven't passed through my head. At completely random times too - I am very religious and know I would never deceive God by killing myself but those thoughts scare me so much. They make me feel like I don't deserve to live.I don't know what to do. I do not believe in taking medication to "heal" me. I already do yoga and meditation and that helps slightly. Any holistic forms of healing?